something old

the vibrations of sound are sneaky. in certain combinations, they induce time travel and bouts of paralyzing nostalgia. for each lost moment, a sound accompanies it, buried alongside it in my mind's depth. the subconscious noise of "i miss you" when i want to forget everything about you is only heard over low levels of minor chords. you know the feeling. on another note, there lies fantasy. a wish or a hope nestles itself between the melody and the bass line. it's what's in between that gives life it's fullness. "you" and i are in between. always have been. if our rhythm wasn't so far off, i would be more entitled to think us great composers. instead we are greatness unrealized. misshapen chords. disonant desperate attempts at harmonizing friendship and lust. it's what is between friendship and lust, melody and bass, that brings fullness. this is to let you know that
when the weather changes,
i sing your praises with words and phrases
that only you understand.
when a cool breeze rises,
lyrical surprises
find their disguises
in electronic poetry.

it's over now

don't lie about us.

it was what it was and it's over now.

coulda, woulda, shoulda done this or that.

it was what it was and it's over now.

no such thing as a do-over.

but don't lie about us.

just let it be what it was and let it be over now.

i said i was sorry and i meant every word.

but i'm not sorry now.

you made your choices and i've made mine.

somewhere along the way, we had some good times.

but don't lie about us.

it was what it was.

don't lie about us.

epiphany

it might mean something that all the songs that remind me of you were suggested by someone else.

new wave

pink checkerboard floor. a sputtering, spitting, liquid crack dispenser. 33 pages to go and all i can do is listen to the guy behind me reminisce with his friends about when he first started dating his current wife. "she told me she knew she was going to marry me before we ever even went out. i feel like i didn't have a choice in the matter." poor girl, i think. you're so lucky to have a woman who wants to love you for eternity. the guy at the table next to me seems thoroughly annoyed at having to hear this story, but not annoyed enough to get up and leave.

i left a long time ago. it feels like a waking dream being here.

dirty hipsters, caricatures of the "neighborhood kids," dressed in neon prints i used to wear before i dressed myself.

i must have superimposed childhood garb.

neurons firing in my brain or subconscious thought?

there is new art on the walls. they look like pieces i've seen before, maybe on a sunday afternoon excursion once.

i've been here before and i like it less now. today i like everything a little less.

1,000 foot steps today, farther away from him than yesterday yet still the world seems a little more grey, even as i surround myself with neon covered faces and neon covered spaces and not even the tiniest of traces of places we used to go.

the harder i try to forget, the more i'm forced to remember.

now there is lack of choice: being reminded.

Sonnets/unrealities

"it may not always be so

and i say that if your lips
which i have loved
should touch another’s
and your dear strong fingers clutch her heart
as mine in time not far away

if on another’s face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know
or such great writhing words as, uttering overmuch
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay

if this should be, i say if this should be
you of my heart, send me a little word
that i may go unto her, and take her hands saying
accept all happiness from me
then shall i turn my face
and hear one bird sing terribly afar in the lost lands"

-bjork-

Summer Goals

First of all, I can't believe it's almost summer already. In fact I almost refuse to believe it. That means finals are here. ARGH! However, as this is my last summer before the bar exam and getting a real job, I have decided to finally do some of the things that I have always wanted to do, at the ripe old age of 25, during the 40th anniversary of the summer of love.

1. Concerts, tons! Pitchfork, Lollapalooza and more!

2. Pictures. I am going to finally learn how to take pictures, nice ones that people will want to stare at and contemplate.

3. Tattoo. Finally getting that tree piece I've been talking about for the last however many years.

4. Writing. I'm going to submit an academic paper for publication, some poetry for publication, and finish my novel. One must write things to be a writer, yes?

5. Yoga. I need to start doing yoga again. I miss the feeling.

So look for pictures, tattoos, concert updates, links to my publications and something about yoga this summer. And if you don't find it, bug me about it.

Thanks!

Faun Fables last night was out of this world. Going to see the Sleepytime Gorilla Museum tonight and then will post about it later!