Something Old: A Perfect Circle

when the merry go round stops, the ride is over, and you are alone again. the music stops playing, the children stop smiling, the world stops spinning, and you are just you. same you that was there before the carousel took off. same one you didn't like. the ride is over, you're supposed to go home. ah, but you never made one. the other kids are off playing and smiling with their old friends and the cardinal and monkeys are gone back to their trees. and you're on the ground, waiting for the next ride, the next diversion from a you going nowhere, doing nothing, spinning but only in recollection of when you were someone else for a moment... happy, clear headed, giddy and dizzy. it was like romance in childhood, frivolous and fun. but the ride is over, and your friends have gone home and the world has stopped spinning, cycling, twirling you in its circular reasoning that keeps you where you are and tricks you into thinking otherwise.

carry me ohio by Sun Kil Moon

Best song ever!

sorry that
i could never love you back
i could never care enough
in these last days

her tears fell on her pages
found me out
on her words
i don't know what to do or say

wading through
warm canals and pools clear blue
Tuscarawas flow into
the great lake

riding back
where the highway met dead end tracks
the ground is now cement and glass
so far away

heal her soul
and carry her my angel
ohio

green green youth
what about the sweetness we knew
what about what's good what's true
from those days

can't count to
all the lovers i've burned through
so why do i still burn for you
i can't say

sorry that
i could never love you back
i could never care enough
in these last days

heal her soul
carry her my angel
ohio

children blessed
gather round the home she will rest
so poor and cold in their midwest
moon and sun

flashes bringing on
my open eyes to lightning storms
the touch of mist
felt soft felt warm on my face

graving dreams
a million miles ago you seem
the star that i just don't see
anymore

words long gone
lost on journeys we walked on
lost her voice is heard along the way

sorry for
never going by your door
never feeling love like that anymore

heal her soul
carry her my angel
ohio

the rain

The rain has come to cleanse this place at last.
Gray skies induce calm breath.
Wetness, freshness, new.
Thunder grumbles in my ear, telling me to rest.
Sullen light soothes.
Condensation clears what has passed.

Musica

If you don't have Bon Iver "For Emma, Forever Ago", you are missing out on something important. If you are sad and want some lyrics that you can "relate to", Reindeer Section "Son of Evil Reindeer".
If you are feeling cynical but want to feel good about it, Modest Mouse "Good News for People Who Love Bad News".

Reflections on "Skinny Love"

And the first thing to go was my pride.
Second guessing myself immediately,
relief and anxiety rolled up together,
was this all a mistake?
"I told you to be patient . . .
now all your love is wasted."

And the second thing to go was my dignity.
Always my better half, always my inspiration,
not trusting myself to do what was right,
had I made a mistake?
"In the morning I'll be with you but
it will be a different kind."

And the last thing to go was me.
Formed around you, nestled in you,
lost my point of reference,
I had made a mistake.
"Cut out all the ropes and let me fall . . .
right in the moment this order's tall."

For the Record

I am not depressed or anything. I am just more inspired by sad emotions and the idea of sad emotions.

The Healing

It feels like a fever.

Confused, hazy thoughts accompanied by sweat and shivering.
It feels like drowning.
Can't breath, pressure, desperation.
It feels like a burn blister.
Pus-filled remnant of the cigarette you put out on your forearm.
I didn't know it was possible to ache on command.

Pretty Successful Day

These beautiful, synthetic shoes are mine, and for under $20 too. I've been looking for something with a T-Strap and the Mary Jane thing is good too. However, I may be bordering on too many red shoes.

And this is not mine. I went to Borders to find Book 8 of the Sookie Stackhouse series. The inventory information computer said that it was likely in the store. It was not in the store. It would have been a wasted trip had I not gotten a different book to tide me over until Amazon can continue to help me out. I only went to Borders because I had an awesome 40% coupon, and for that reason I got a bargain on The Historian. If anyone has any book recommendations, I am really in need.

Tonight I will attempt to make a Buffalo Chikin Salad with Vegan Ranch Dressing that I figured out to make from this blog.

Cheers!

Lady Parts

Tonight, I get to talk about my lady parts in front of a couple hundred people. I am in the Vagina Monologues! I'm pretty excited as I haven't done anything like this in almost 10 years! That makes me sound really old. Wish me luck!



Also, it's snowing again. I don't mind the snow in theory... I just hate not being able to see the sidewalks for months at a time. All the snow melted about two weeks ago, but last night, it came back. I am not a happy lady... and I am a clumsy lady. Wipe out number two for the winter occurred last night. I have to say, this winter is decidedly less awkward than last winter, but I still look weird when I walk in the snow.

Last night I went to a Texas themed bar and it was actually pretty good! $2 PBR tallboys are pretty much unheard of in these parts. Fancy Contraption was playing and let me tell you, that Megan can sing! Also, stand-up bass is always sweet. A couple of the members are friends with my cousin and it was nice to see them play again.

I'll try to have some more artistic postings for you next time.

High Fructose Corn Syrup - Just like sugar... except not.

I was watching Real Housewives of Orange County while reading a law review article about ethnic conflict as a result of Market Dominant Minorities, when I saw this:



It's possibly one of the most appalling ad campaigns ever. Basically, the message is, if you can't say why it's bad, then it's not bad. I can't tell you why Leprosy is bad, but I know it's not alright in moderation.

The fact of the matter is that childhood obesity has gone through the roof since the 1970's, when soda and junk food companies started to use high fructose corn syrup instead of sugar in their products. Childhood diabetes is also not good in moderation.

I have to say, the characters are also, how to put this delicately . . . stereotypical? The white suburban lady is afraid of things she doesn't really know anything about. The African American woman has some colorful HFC laden juice with no label or name, but a very non-organic color (anybody see Dave Chappelle's purple drank?). Ugh! Ugh, I say!

Welcome

So in breaking the tradition of talking about things repeatedly and never doing them, I have started a blog. Many of you may remember my old blogs, which were simply collections of random, stream of conscious poetry, much of it morose. This blog will, hopefully be much different, though I can't make promises. What I will try to adhere to is the following: regular posts of pictures, poetry, recipes, humorous adventures and other such insignificant thoughts from my life. Please feel free to enjoy my ramblings. Welcome!