In you

In you I find camaraderie
wrapped up in pleasantries
and surface-level interaction.
- A giddy grin to intimate intimate intercourse.

In you I find sanctuary
wrapped up in insecurities
and self-deprecating actions.
- A friendly embrace to complicate complicated discourse.

In you I find desolation
wrapped up in rarities
and un-quiet satisfaction.
- A heaving chest to beatify beating repose.

Milwaukee

This year will mark my fifth year in Chicago. It is also the first year that I have made the mere 2 hour drive north to the land of cheese and beer. How I have managed to go 4.5 years without ever exploring Milwaukee is beyond me. This year, I plan to more than make up for it. I've already been three times this year and I am pretty sure I will go at least a few more times before the year is out.

No trip to Milwaukee can be complete without a stop at the Mars Cheese Castle.

You might ask, why in the world would a vegan want to stop at a cheese castle? I would normally agree with you. However, upon entering, one is not overwhelmed with the smell of dairy, but rather welcomed by aisles upon aisles of locally made hot sauces and beers. My favorite score? A mix pack of beers from New Glarus. I have to say, Spotted Cow is quite the beer. AND you can't get it in Chicago, so if you make it to Wisconsin, you definitely need to stock up.

Another good reason to make the trip north is Comet Cafe.

In fact, I think I would make the drive to Milwaukee JUST to eat at Comet Cafe. Vegan paradise! Most of their menu is comprised of items that can be made omnivore or vegan, which I happen to think is pretty cool. The first time we went, we had the vegan ribs as well as the meatloaf. Holy wow on the meatloaf!

As you can see, we made a pretty good dent on that. Comet also makes amazing "Giant Cupcakes". Many of their flavors are vegan and about the best cupcakes I've ever had.

When in Milwaukee, I suggest taking a walk around the park near the Museum of Art. Surprisingly (or not) Milwaukee's art museum is pretty impressing. The park is pretty good too. Check out the awesome sailboat architecture.

On top of all this, there are some really great vintage stores. Awesome collections at a fraction of Chicago's prices. I even scored some fun vinyl while I was there on the last trip. All in all, Milwaukee is a fun place to visit for a day or for a weekend. I can't wait to make another trip.

Akron/family and some New Year's Intentions

This year, I have decided to make New Year's Intentions. I'm not much for resolutions. Resolutions means that things are decided. I'm very, very bad at deciding anything twelve months in advance. While I usually forgo the process altogether, this year I decided to make a few intentions for the year. Things that I would like to keep mindful of and work on throughout the next twelve months... or until Armageddon starts...

The list is very simple. Four things to try to do this year:
1. be jealous of my own life
2. buy only used clothing
3. take a knitting class
4. sew more

By "be jealous of my own life", I just want to clarify that it's not self-absorption that I'm going for. So often, I read other people's blogs and think, I wish I had their clothes or I wish I lived in her house or had her relationship. This year I want to live a life that is fulfilling. I want to stop being jealous of others and be jealous of what I've done. Intention #2 will require more thrifting (oh, boy, is that going to suck!) and lots of DIY upcycles of my own closet. #3 and #4 will aid in accomplishing #2 and also help fulfill the nesting urges I'm feeling lately. Besides, both are handy skills to have in life. How else am I gonna be a rad Grandma if I can't knit!?

Shelly and I went to see Akron/family. at the Hideout last week. It was definitely one of the better shows I've seen in recent memory. So far, so good on the being jealous of my own life!

Their harmonies were super raw.

...and full of heart.

Yet they still really rocked out. Shelly and I looked at each other at one point and said, "This year is going to rule!" With SXSW coming up in a few months and the endless summer of Chicago music, we really have a lot of great bands to look forward to. Definitely felt really jealous of my own life that night.

Austin + wedding

I got to go back to Austin recently because one of my oldest and dearest friends got married. I spent a whole week hanging out with friends and family.

Shuan and Ashty came to the wedding, too. They've known Sarah as long as I have and 16 years is a long time to know someone.

And I got to wear this gorgeous dress that I bought from this great etsy shop. It took me 8 months to find the right dress, but it fit perfectly and arrived so quickly after I ordered it. Now to find many more places to wear it!

And what would a trip to Austin be without a stop at Mother's Cafe. I dream about their Spinach Salad with Cashew Tamari dressing...

All in all, it was a successful trip. I mean, after all, she did say, "I do".

breaking

i'm tired of everyone breaking up.
breaking hearts, breaking connections, breaking
free of the confines of "nothing is working".
broken vows and broken promises leaving
broken pieces for someone else to pick up.
i'm tired of picking up.

henceforth may we all drink from the same chalice
and wake up entwined as the human spirit.
henceforth let us leave our promises and vows
in our hearts where they can't hurt anyone else.
henceforth we shall not fear the falling -
into pieces that cannot be put back together
because we are guarding that which can break us.

Your Protector

I met my destroyer on the train.
He was gaunt and wearing a trash bag blanket.
His eyes were bloodshot-tired.
He could barely speak.
I knew him instantly - he was born in my soul, after all.
He once broke my heart without trying.
He is now broken.

I met my rival at the front door.
She said, "I came to warn you ... he's not worth fighting for."
Her eyes were cold-calculated.
She could barely stand
- still, I knew her instantly.
She was standing where I used to, after all.
She once took without trying.
She is now taken.

I met my truth inside my home.
He was bearded and naked.
His eyes were kind-comfort.
He could barely catch his breath.
He spoke instantly - truth keeps nothing hidden after all.
He once saved me without even trying.
I am now saved.

clocks

all the clocks are melting
like i'm living in a
salvador dali painting.

even the metronomes can't keep time.

each carefully measured step,
filled with uncertainty--
conductor-less.

these days are unplanned phrases.

heart beats are telling
signals of tempo
with which to guide plans.

i have lost track of time.

it's better to just breathe,
in three part harmony
with the wind and the moon phases.

all of the clocks are melting.

somehow i get lost
and forget to keep
time when i am with you.